It has been way too long since my last post. I think I say that at the beginning of each one, but lately, I haven't been able to find the time to post. There's definitely been quite a bit going on that I think is worthy of a blog to document for myself. I'm warning that it's going to be long and most of it isn't that interesting. I just want to look back later on and remember all of it. Let me start out with a couple months ago and work my way to the current.
As many of you know, we had a miscarriage in August. We were told that we needed to wait 4 months before trying again. Four months sounded like 4 years to a person that longed to have another baby growing in her. So, being the good listeners that we are, we were good for 2 months. I was so anxious to get
pregnant and am not a very patient person to start with. Also, things with Marc's job were kinda up in the air. We could possibly be moving, which meant he was going to have to go somewhere and Jarrett and I would have to stay in Lubbock until the end of the school year. Of course, the first thing that I thought was..."how in the world will we get pregnant with us living in two different places?" I was definitely not wanting to wait until summer. Remember the lack of patience mentioned before??? So, we decided not to prevent, but not to necessarily try either. Well, on December 9
th, I was late, but hadn't "felt" pregnant, but thought what the heck. My pregnant friend,
Micha, actually told me that she had a test left over and brought it to me so that I didn't have to "waste" money. (Waste was my word because I was sure that I wasn't pregnant.) I took the test. I tried to stay busy for those long 3 minutes. When I went back in, there was only one line. :( I wasn't too upset because I didn't think that I was pregnant. For some reason, I didn't throw the thing away. (
Hmmm...God is so good.) I just left it on the counter. About 30 minutes later, I walked back past it and something caught my eye. It was a very faint second line. I thought I was imagining things. You know when you look at something for so long and your eyes start playing tricks on you? Of course, I had to rush to the drugstore to get a digital one just to make sure. It wasn't even a minute and the stick flashed PREGNANT. I was still in disbelief. I ended up getting a blood test the next day to make sure. We were still very cautious as to telling people. It wasn't that I didn't want to shout it from the rooftop. I just felt very protective of the baby and myself. I know the more people praying, the better, but I knew that if something went wrong, there would be less people to have to tell. This thinking is probably crazy, but it was my thought process at the time. After letting myself believe that I was actually pregnant, the waiting began. I had to make it to my first sonogram at 9 weeks, and then I could relax is what I kept telling myself. So, we went to that sonogram and everything looked great. It was a huge relief. I began telling more people, which was a good thing because I was already showing a little. By my 12 week appointment, I had let the doubts and worries start creeping in again. When I heard that little heart beat, I burst in to tears. I bet Dr. Burke thought I was crazy. It was music to my ears. To further alleviate my worries, she did a quick sonogram and said everything looked great. Around this time, the nausea went away and I felt human again. I felt so great that I really didn't feel "pregnant" until I started feeling the baby move. With Jarrett, I felt him move around 18 weeks, but once you know what it feels like, it comes so much earlier. I started wondering if I was really feeling it at 14-15 weeks. It was such a great feeling. I think God knew that I needed that reassurance. I've had my moments of freaking out since then, but I am doing much better these days. Today, March, 26
th, we found out that I have a healthy baby boy growing inside me again. I couldn't have received better news. I was starting to think that it might be a girl, but my main concern was that it was healthy. Marc, on the other hand, knew that it was a boy and was completely pulling for it to be one. He was grinning from ear to ear when we found out. We are thrilled and can't wait to welcome another little boy into our crazy world. Marc says that we are keeping this name a secret, just like we did with Jarrett. This is so hard for me. I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut. I guess I'll have to be for 5 more months though. I am due August 14
th. I must like being pregnant during the hottest time possible.
As for the crazy world I mentioned earlier, Marc's job has been a little crazy, to say the least, lately. Marc has been transferred to Roswell, NM. He moved over there at the beginning of February. It hasn't been fun at all. He comes home every Friday and leaves with me crying on Sunday. I thought it might get easier, but it hasn't yet. We have had our house on the market for the past couple of months. We went into contract on it a couple of weeks ago and then that fell through. We are currently under contract now and I'm praying that everything works out the way it's supposed to. I don't care when it sells, just as long as Jarrett and I get to live back with Marc full time come summer. We are still in limbo because there have been rumors of openings in Lubbock. We'd love to stay here, close to family and friends. If that door closes, then we will know that God wants us in Roswell and that's where we will go. I'm just ready to know one way or another. Also, with this move (whether we stay or go), I'm hoping to get to stay home next year with my boys. I'm looking so forward to it. Now that I have it in my mind that that is going to happen, I will be completely heart broken if it doesn't work out. I think I would give up anything to make it work. We'll see. I'm definitely praying hard about all of it. I know God is going to take care of us and we just need to trust His timing in everything.
His timing is perfect, no matter what we think the perfect time is for something. I should know. I just now thought of the perfect example. The baby we lost in August was due right around this time. This
could've been a really sad time for us, but instead, we find out what we are having with this pregnancy and that everything is looking great. Not that I don't still ache for the baby I lost, but we are so excited, and finding out that this one is going so well eases that ache. I will never forget that precious baby and one day will get to hold her (I'm just guessing) in my arms. And on that note, I'm out. If you're still reading. Love you all!
